[Hilda's also partaken in a few murders, it's fine. You can't have a battle without a few deaths! The important thing is that she's not a psycho about it.
She accepts the tea and pastries with a small "thanks" as she listens to what Ori has to say.]
We really need to work on this tendency of yours to apologize for everything. You didn't do anything wrong! It's not like you purposefully dragged them into your nightmare--dreamwalking is just a hazard of living here.
I don't think it's a bad idea to check in with them, but promise me you aren't going to fall over yourself saying sorry, okay?
[Sometimes, talking to Ori is like talking to a less depressing Marianne.]
And honestly? I think it's really sweet that your dream self kind of reached out to Diluc and Thoma. Sounds like that was the right call.
[And then the conversation pivots back to herself. Hilda hesitates, seriously considering her options, and decides that maybe it wouldn't hurt to drop the 'I'm fine' bullshit around Ori. Some part of her already sees through it anyway, and Ori is a helper type of person. Much as she doesn't want her birthday tea party to be a bummer... she needs to talk to someone about all of it. Someone who's not Balthus, anyway.]
Neither dream I was pulled into was especially happy, but one of them...
[She sighs softly.]
I got to witness a massacre and got killed at the end. It wasn't great. The person whose dream it was was really nice about it, but... [Her hand unthinkingly goes to her abdomen, where Asura had inadvertently run her through in the nightmare.] I still catch myself thinking about it if I'm not careful.
[ This is far from the first time that Oriphi has ever heard the "stop apologizing for everything" rigmarole, and regrettably it likely will not be the last. She understands that it's a habit of hers, borne out of the lack of self-esteem she's cultivated her entire life, but thankfully they don't dwell on this for too long.
Her head tips to the side a little as she senses Hilda's hesitation, and already her worry deepens. She's well-acquainted with that sort of hesitation. She knows that inside, Hilda is probably thinking about whether or not to say "I'm fine." The difference being that Hilda might actually be good at saying such even when she's not, whereas Ori couldn't hide a feeling to save a life. Ultimately, though, she's glad to see her friend relent and let her into what's been bothering her. Ori is a little sorry to bring up something unpleasant on her birthday, but perhaps the sooner she can get this off her chest, the sooner they can earnestly enjoy her birthday tea party.
So she listens dutifully - but her frown pulls further and deeper the more she hears. ]
Oh, Hilda... that's— terrible. Even if they apologized for it, that doesn't change the fact that you had to see something as horrifying as that. I'm glad you were able to leave that nightmare and wake up - both for you and the person whose dream it was.
Maybe... maybe we should think of a way for you to distract yourself whenever you mind starts to drift back to what you saw?
[Hilda is generally masterful at hiding her feelings when she has to. Weakness is a part of her weaponized femininity, designed to convince others to do the tasks she doesn't want to do. Actual vulnerability isn't her thing, so she's gotten very good at expressing herself in ways that don't require it. The methods vary--crying crocodile tears, or deflecting, or manipulating someone else into speaking up--but the end result is the same.
None of that is in play here. For once, Hilda's being totally honest. And that honesty continues as she takes the time to consider her friend's response.]
Thanks. I'm glad, too.
[She gives Ori a weak, grateful smile.]
I think you're onto something with the distraction idea, though. What did you have in mind?
[ Ori appreciates that honesty more than she can really say, at the moment. She understands and has seen that hesitation in the face of vulnerability. The way that the tiefling tries to ask after Hilda's true feelings is something she has done with her old friends, too, but she's more often than not met with resistance. With that curt "I'm fine," as Ori is left wondering why they feel they have to lie to her.
So she appreciates that honesty so, so much, and she returns Hilda's small smile with a more earnest, warm smile of her own. ]
Well, for starters... you can write your tiefling friend if you're feeling down and she'll bring tea and sweets. And maybe a hug?
[Yeah, Hilda can't resist that hug. She wraps her arms around Ori and pulls her in tight.]
Thank you, Ori. Seriously.
[They remain like that for a few moments before Hilda gives her one last squeeze and lets her go.]
And vice-versa, okay? Whenever those boys of yours get to be too much and you need some girl time, come find me. Or anytime you need anything, really. We cute flower-types need to stick together.
[She's not out-and-out saying it, but Ori has proven to be a better friend than Hilda probably deserves over the course of this afternoon. The thought isn't an especially angst-ridden one--simply a matter of fact. She's self-aware enough to know she's not always a great person, but Ori is there for her anyway. All the more reason to treasure this friendship and reciprocate in kind.
Congratulations, Ori. You're now one of the few people Hilda gives enough of a shit about to actually put in the effort.]
Of course, I want to do thing with you for reasons other than one or the other of us being a bit down. Can you imagine how exhausting that would be, to only act as a counselor all the time?
[ In this moment, Ori cannot even fathom feeling like Thoma and Diluc could ever be 'too much' and needing time away from them. What she can fathom is giving them space from her, because she can easily see that being the case.
But, she agrees wholeheartedly regardless. Ori loves her adventuring friends, the friendships she's built over time spent traveling together and facing down adversities together after being thrown into seemingly impossible quests together - but there's something special about friendship with someone that you truly choose to spend time with, too. And Ori has chosen this kind of friendship with Hilda, and it is something that has been and will continue to be something worth putting herself out there for.
Still, she would be foolish to think that she's Hilda's only friend like this. She is rather the wonderful and sociable young woman, after all. Plus, there's another thing... ]
I suppose I can... I like spending time with you, Hilda, so you can always visit or write me if you want to see me.
[ A beat, then she adds: ]
Oh, but, you have your friend from home here as well, right? Baltie? I'm sure he'd be happy to help whenever, too.
[Speaking of things like 'betting' and 'Baltie'... Hilda deflates a bit and gives a bit of a nervous laugh.]
Yeah, um. Things are a little weird with him right now, actually.
[She busies herself with one of the pastries on her plate, tearing a few pieces off to serve as bite-sized portions later. With a sigh, she elaborates to help head off Ori's inevitable 'what happened?']
Right after the nightmare, I went over to his house. I was really shaken, and we got all caught up in everything, and I kissed him and ended up sleeping in his bed with him because I didn't want to go back to my place by myself. And it's weird. He's, like, my older brother's best friend, and I always thought that made him kind of an older brother to me too. Except you don't kiss brothers the way that we kissed, and it didn't really feel wrong in the moment, but the more I think about the more I don't know what to think about it. Was I just looking for comfort wherever I could find it? Did I use him to make myself feel better? Did he use me?
[She sighs again, this time more dramatically, and helps herself to one of the bits of torn-off pastry.]
[ The moment that Hilda seems to deflate, Ori regrets bringing Balthus up. Not that she would have had any way of knowing that doing so would bring up complicated emotions, but still - Ori deflates in turn and watches with worry as Hilda tears up one of the pastries on her plate.
She goes on to explain what happened before Ori has a chance to steel herself enough to ask the question, and all she can do is listen attentively. What Hilda says is... not at all what Ori is expecting, truth to tell, but still she listens. Ori also cannot really relate to the dynamics of older brothers and their best friends, having neither an older brother nor a best friend (at least, not until recently).
By the time that Hilda has said all of that, and sighs, Ori is wearing a very sympathetic look on her face. She can't even begin to pretend to understand, but all that really matters is that it's clearing bothering Hilda. ]
Hilda...
[ There's no judgment in her voice. ]
It's okay to not really know how to feel about it. But I do think... if you were both okay with it, then maybe it's not really like you were using each other...?
[ The flowers in her hair droop a little. ]
Sorry, I'm not really... familiar with these kinds of situations. But I do know that feelings can be complicated, and that's okay. You don't have to figure everything out right away. But I'm sorry to hear things are a little weird right now... maybe it'll be okay in time?
[ Narrator voice: It will, in fact, not be okay. ]
[Not if their respective muns have anything to say about it!
Hilda meets Ori's sympathetic look with a small smile. Bless her, she's trying to be supportive and helpful. But this is out of Hilda's depth, and she's much more experienced in these kinds of things than Ori is. It's little wonder that she's at a near-total loss.]
Honestly, Ori? All I need is an ear and a bit of comfort. I know you don't have the answers, but I know you have those things in abundance.
[Ori is too good a friend, really.]
So thanks for that much. Just being able to talk about it helps a bit, you know? Like, I'm not losing my mind or whatever. And maybe you're right. Maybe it'll just... blow over, and things can go back to how they were.
Well, no matter what happens between the two of you, you'll still be my friend!
[ She reaches over with one arm to pull Hilda into a half-embrace. ]
I feel like... it wouldn't hurt to talk things out at some point, no matter what. Honestly, I probably still wouldn't have owned up to how I feel about Thoma and Diluc if Thoma hadn't brought it up in conversation.... It was kind of scary to talk things out, but it ended up being okay in the end!
[ Well, more than okay, obviously, but. ]
I'm learning that talking about these things can be way better than keeping everything locked up inside. But, like I said— you don't have to figure it out all at once!
[ She pulls her arm away so that she can start to work at the pastries her own plate and, of course, also refill Hilda's plate with more pastries. ]
[Hilda leans into the sideways half-hug, smiling warmly. ]
You're the best, Ori. Seriously.
[It's a shame that Hilda and Balthus don't have a Thoma to force the conversation. Or maybe it's for the best. Balthus would probably be pretty chill about having a third, but she's not convinced that she wouldn't be a jealous asshole about it.
Which... why is she even thinking about that?! She's not even supposed to be entertaining the idea of being a couple. Right?]
I'll try talking to him once I've had more time to think about.
[Realistically, that means she's probably going to keep avoiding the topic for as long as possible. But at least she's considering Ori's advice. That's something, right?]
In any case, let's get back to making this a fun birthday tea party. I'm glad we talked about this stuff, but I don't want it to spoil the festivities too much.
[And with that, the pair return to tea, treats, and girlish gossip. All in all, Hilda's second 19th birthday ends up being a lovely one. ♥ ]
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She accepts the tea and pastries with a small "thanks" as she listens to what Ori has to say.]
We really need to work on this tendency of yours to apologize for everything. You didn't do anything wrong! It's not like you purposefully dragged them into your nightmare--dreamwalking is just a hazard of living here.
I don't think it's a bad idea to check in with them, but promise me you aren't going to fall over yourself saying sorry, okay?
[Sometimes, talking to Ori is like talking to a less depressing Marianne.]
And honestly? I think it's really sweet that your dream self kind of reached out to Diluc and Thoma. Sounds like that was the right call.
[And then the conversation pivots back to herself. Hilda hesitates, seriously considering her options, and decides that maybe it wouldn't hurt to drop the 'I'm fine' bullshit around Ori. Some part of her already sees through it anyway, and Ori is a helper type of person. Much as she doesn't want her birthday tea party to be a bummer... she needs to talk to someone about all of it. Someone who's not Balthus, anyway.]
Neither dream I was pulled into was especially happy, but one of them...
[She sighs softly.]
I got to witness a massacre and got killed at the end. It wasn't great. The person whose dream it was was really nice about it, but... [Her hand unthinkingly goes to her abdomen, where Asura had inadvertently run her through in the nightmare.] I still catch myself thinking about it if I'm not careful.
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Her head tips to the side a little as she senses Hilda's hesitation, and already her worry deepens. She's well-acquainted with that sort of hesitation. She knows that inside, Hilda is probably thinking about whether or not to say "I'm fine." The difference being that Hilda might actually be good at saying such even when she's not, whereas Ori couldn't hide a feeling to save a life. Ultimately, though, she's glad to see her friend relent and let her into what's been bothering her. Ori is a little sorry to bring up something unpleasant on her birthday, but perhaps the sooner she can get this off her chest, the sooner they can earnestly enjoy her birthday tea party.
So she listens dutifully - but her frown pulls further and deeper the more she hears. ]
Oh, Hilda... that's— terrible. Even if they apologized for it, that doesn't change the fact that you had to see something as horrifying as that. I'm glad you were able to leave that nightmare and wake up - both for you and the person whose dream it was.
Maybe... maybe we should think of a way for you to distract yourself whenever you mind starts to drift back to what you saw?
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None of that is in play here. For once, Hilda's being totally honest. And that honesty continues as she takes the time to consider her friend's response.]
Thanks. I'm glad, too.
[She gives Ori a weak, grateful smile.]
I think you're onto something with the distraction idea, though. What did you have in mind?
no subject
So she appreciates that honesty so, so much, and she returns Hilda's small smile with a more earnest, warm smile of her own. ]
Well, for starters... you can write your tiefling friend if you're feeling down and she'll bring tea and sweets. And maybe a hug?
[ She opens her arms a bit. ]
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[Yeah, Hilda can't resist that hug. She wraps her arms around Ori and pulls her in tight.]
Thank you, Ori. Seriously.
[They remain like that for a few moments before Hilda gives her one last squeeze and lets her go.]
And vice-versa, okay? Whenever those boys of yours get to be too much and you need some girl time, come find me. Or anytime you need anything, really. We cute flower-types need to stick together.
[She's not out-and-out saying it, but Ori has proven to be a better friend than Hilda probably deserves over the course of this afternoon. The thought isn't an especially angst-ridden one--simply a matter of fact. She's self-aware enough to know she's not always a great person, but Ori is there for her anyway. All the more reason to treasure this friendship and reciprocate in kind.
Congratulations, Ori. You're now one of the few people Hilda gives enough of a shit about to actually put in the effort.]
Of course, I want to do thing with you for reasons other than one or the other of us being a bit down. Can you imagine how exhausting that would be, to only act as a counselor all the time?
no subject
But, she agrees wholeheartedly regardless. Ori loves her adventuring friends, the friendships she's built over time spent traveling together and facing down adversities together after being thrown into seemingly impossible quests together - but there's something special about friendship with someone that you truly choose to spend time with, too. And Ori has chosen this kind of friendship with Hilda, and it is something that has been and will continue to be something worth putting herself out there for.
Still, she would be foolish to think that she's Hilda's only friend like this. She is rather the wonderful and sociable young woman, after all. Plus, there's another thing... ]
I suppose I can... I like spending time with you, Hilda, so you can always visit or write me if you want to see me.
[ A beat, then she adds: ]
Oh, but, you have your friend from home here as well, right? Baltie? I'm sure he'd be happy to help whenever, too.
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[Speaking of things like 'betting' and 'Baltie'... Hilda deflates a bit and gives a bit of a nervous laugh.]
Yeah, um. Things are a little weird with him right now, actually.
[She busies herself with one of the pastries on her plate, tearing a few pieces off to serve as bite-sized portions later. With a sigh, she elaborates to help head off Ori's inevitable 'what happened?']
Right after the nightmare, I went over to his house. I was really shaken, and we got all caught up in everything, and I kissed him and ended up sleeping in his bed with him because I didn't want to go back to my place by myself. And it's weird. He's, like, my older brother's best friend, and I always thought that made him kind of an older brother to me too. Except you don't kiss brothers the way that we kissed, and it didn't really feel wrong in the moment, but the more I think about the more I don't know what to think about it. Was I just looking for comfort wherever I could find it? Did I use him to make myself feel better? Did he use me?
[She sighs again, this time more dramatically, and helps herself to one of the bits of torn-off pastry.]
Feelings are stupid, Ori.
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She goes on to explain what happened before Ori has a chance to steel herself enough to ask the question, and all she can do is listen attentively. What Hilda says is... not at all what Ori is expecting, truth to tell, but still she listens. Ori also cannot really relate to the dynamics of older brothers and their best friends, having neither an older brother nor a best friend (at least, not until recently).
By the time that Hilda has said all of that, and sighs, Ori is wearing a very sympathetic look on her face. She can't even begin to pretend to understand, but all that really matters is that it's clearing bothering Hilda. ]
Hilda...
[ There's no judgment in her voice. ]
It's okay to not really know how to feel about it. But I do think... if you were both okay with it, then maybe it's not really like you were using each other...?
[ The flowers in her hair droop a little. ]
Sorry, I'm not really... familiar with these kinds of situations. But I do know that feelings can be complicated, and that's okay. You don't have to figure everything out right away. But I'm sorry to hear things are a little weird right now... maybe it'll be okay in time?
[ Narrator voice: It will, in fact, not be okay. ]
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Not if their respective muns have anything to say about it!Hilda meets Ori's sympathetic look with a small smile. Bless her, she's trying to be supportive and helpful. But this is out of Hilda's depth, and she's much more experienced in these kinds of things than Ori is. It's little wonder that she's at a near-total loss.]
Honestly, Ori? All I need is an ear and a bit of comfort. I know you don't have the answers, but I know you have those things in abundance.
[Ori is too good a friend, really.]
So thanks for that much. Just being able to talk about it helps a bit, you know? Like, I'm not losing my mind or whatever. And maybe you're right. Maybe it'll just... blow over, and things can go back to how they were.
no subject
[ She reaches over with one arm to pull Hilda into a half-embrace. ]
I feel like... it wouldn't hurt to talk things out at some point, no matter what. Honestly, I probably still wouldn't have owned up to how I feel about Thoma and Diluc if Thoma hadn't brought it up in conversation.... It was kind of scary to talk things out, but it ended up being okay in the end!
[ Well, more than okay, obviously, but. ]
I'm learning that talking about these things can be way better than keeping everything locked up inside. But, like I said— you don't have to figure it out all at once!
[ She pulls her arm away so that she can start to work at the pastries her own plate and, of course, also refill Hilda's plate with more pastries. ]
wrapped!
You're the best, Ori. Seriously.
[It's a shame that Hilda and Balthus don't have a Thoma to force the conversation. Or maybe it's for the best. Balthus would probably be pretty chill about having a third, but she's not convinced that she wouldn't be a jealous asshole about it.
Which... why is she even thinking about that?! She's not even supposed to be entertaining the idea of being a couple. Right?]
I'll try talking to him once I've had more time to think about.
[Realistically, that means she's probably going to keep avoiding the topic for as long as possible. But at least she's considering Ori's advice. That's something, right?]
In any case, let's get back to making this a fun birthday tea party. I'm glad we talked about this stuff, but I don't want it to spoil the festivities too much.
[And with that, the pair return to tea, treats, and girlish gossip. All in all, Hilda's second 19th birthday ends up being a lovely one. ♥ ]